So I am back at work. Nope, I am not with the government right now, or should I say not yet. I am working at the big mall really close to us called Cross Iron Mills. For those of you that don't know or haven't been, you need to check it out. It is an outlet mall, and it is big. Not to mention the fact that you can really get some great deals at all of the outlet shops.
I am working at a store called RW & Company. I have always liked their clothes, but haven't really shopped there too much. Ok,to be honest, I haven't really shopped at all it seems in the past few years. I have either been pregnant, just had a baby, or trying to lose the baby weight and still am, so I have neglected my wardrobe. Now, though I can wear some nice, new clothes and get them at a very good discount.
While working retail is hard (and very hard on the feet), I have always secretly wanted to work in a clothing store. Since being in High School I have had this desire to work in a clothing store. The ultimate dream would be to go and 'buy' the clothes, especially for RW& Co as their fashions are European inspired and they are now getting in items that are made in Italy or Turkey. That will not happen anytime soon, but for now.....I feel kind of giddy working here.
I get to dress people up, I get to find clothes for their body type, skin tone, personal style preference. It just makes me happy! So while I don't have a 'government' job, I am really having fun working here and fulfilling a little dream that I have had since High School (now if only I still had the body I had in High School, it would be a lot easier to 'dress')! So if you are ever in the mall, make sure you pop in and say 'hi'. Plus this RW & Co is an outlet store....the only one in AB. There are some super deals to get your hands on.
Saturday, 6 October 2012
Friday, 5 October 2012
Venting after an extremely LONG day....
Sometimes I need to vent! Do you ever feel like that? Is it just me? Days like today, I get to the end and think oh I will turn in early and have a good rest.....but I can't sleep. It is Friday so my hubby is out working at the Center and I honestly like to wait up and hear how everything went, plus I worry a bit about him. Tonight, however, I really need to sleep, but can't and it is frustrating!
My little princess got home this morning at 5:30 am. I am so incredibly blessed to have such an amazing husband (daddy to my 3 darlings) who does anything and everything for his family. I don't know what I have done to deserve such an incredible man----thank you LORD!! He drove home early from his work last night because she was not breathing right. Do you know how scary it is when your child is struggling to breathe? He got home and I had her ready to go right away with him. Fortunately they got in right away---probably because her oxygen levels were low and she is only 3. Then the waiting game begins. They couldn't keep her at Urgent Care, so they transferred her by ambulance to the Children's Hospital. John also could not ride with her and had to follow the ambulance as she was still on oxygen. I stayed at home with the boys and tried to get some sleep (yeah like how do you sleep when your child is in the hospital) as we don't really have anyone to contact in case of emergencies such as these.
So first she has pneumonia, then it isn't. Then she has a viral infection that has symptoms like Pneumonia. They finally discharge her and they get home very early this morning after zero sleep. My poor hubby! They also send a prescription home with 3 separate things scribbled on it, an inhaler with a chamber and some antibiotics. However, they never told us what to do with any of it. There was nothing on the bottle of antibiotics telling us how much to give her and how frequent we should give it to her. So I call the hospital. I get transferred, then I wait, and wait some more. The nurse was really good about it, I just was getting tired of waiting and still had a very active 1 year old to chase after. As it turns out, the bottle of antibiotics was sent with her from Urgent Care and they never should have sent it without the dosage and frequency information (so he was telling me that it was a big no, no). So I say, fine, I will just toss the antibiotics out and use the prescription that the hospital wrote me. The nurse says, I can't do that because she needs the antibiotics. I inquire as to what she needs it for. He then tells me that they are treating Gigi for two symptoms, first the pneumonia and second asthma. I then tell him that they told us last night that she did not have pneumonia, to which he responds and says yes she does as we have her blood tests back and her white blood cell count is very high indicating that there is an infection. I am quite upset by this time as they never told us any of this at the hospital---like nothing! Plus they tell me that I need to go back to Urgent Care and get them to tell me how much of the antibiotic she needs. Erghh!
I also discovered last night that our furnace is not working....so i make a few calls, pack up Jude, put Gigi back to bed (as by this time she is convinced that she is all better) and head to Urgent Care. Jude falls asleep (great timing) and then I have to wait for over a half hour as they sort everything out. They call the hospital have her records sent over, can't understand what the doctor wrote on her chart, call back to confirm, but it is busy for a while, and then they finally get through. So I finally get everything sorted and get home. I am asking myself what the heck just happened? This is our medical system? This is the health of my baby girl and it was the most frustrating process I have ever been through. I feel like we are just numbers on an assembly line! I was so angry. They also prescribed her three different types of 'steroids'. I am thinking, good grief she is 3 years old and they are pumping her full of steroids? Why? They didn't even take the time to explain her diagnosis, what was going on! Am I the only one who wants to know this stuff? Would you not want to know what the doctors diagnosed your child with?
I also called our Homeopath and emailed our practitioner who we usually see. She got back to me right away----and gave me some options. Here's the clincher, we have no benefits right now, and so these prescriptions are pricey, and we are also not covered for Homeopathic medicine either (it's the consults that add up, the remedies are very cheap). So what do we do? Which route do we take? I know which one I would prefer.
You see one of the first questions they ask you is whether or not she is up to date with her vaccinations. We don't vaccinate our kids through the health system, we do homeoprophylaxis, which is a homeopathic vaccination. So she has all of the protection that she would get through the 'vaccination' schedule. It is not illegal to do this, but the way you are treated it is like it is. Suddenly, it is our fault that she is sick because we didn't chose to do 'their' vaccinations. Even though the girl who is vaccinated is still getting pneumonia and being treated for the same symptoms. That doesn't matter though. They spent more time asking about her vaccinations than they did about what her symptoms were. What is wrong with our medical system? I feel like nobody wants to get to the root cause, they just want the quick band-aid (you know the quick fix) and let's move her on down the line so we can get to the next number, I mean patient.
So frustrating, so, so frustrating.
That is my vent for the night.....I will try and get some sleep now that I have got it off my chest! :o)
My little princess got home this morning at 5:30 am. I am so incredibly blessed to have such an amazing husband (daddy to my 3 darlings) who does anything and everything for his family. I don't know what I have done to deserve such an incredible man----thank you LORD!! He drove home early from his work last night because she was not breathing right. Do you know how scary it is when your child is struggling to breathe? He got home and I had her ready to go right away with him. Fortunately they got in right away---probably because her oxygen levels were low and she is only 3. Then the waiting game begins. They couldn't keep her at Urgent Care, so they transferred her by ambulance to the Children's Hospital. John also could not ride with her and had to follow the ambulance as she was still on oxygen. I stayed at home with the boys and tried to get some sleep (yeah like how do you sleep when your child is in the hospital) as we don't really have anyone to contact in case of emergencies such as these.
So first she has pneumonia, then it isn't. Then she has a viral infection that has symptoms like Pneumonia. They finally discharge her and they get home very early this morning after zero sleep. My poor hubby! They also send a prescription home with 3 separate things scribbled on it, an inhaler with a chamber and some antibiotics. However, they never told us what to do with any of it. There was nothing on the bottle of antibiotics telling us how much to give her and how frequent we should give it to her. So I call the hospital. I get transferred, then I wait, and wait some more. The nurse was really good about it, I just was getting tired of waiting and still had a very active 1 year old to chase after. As it turns out, the bottle of antibiotics was sent with her from Urgent Care and they never should have sent it without the dosage and frequency information (so he was telling me that it was a big no, no). So I say, fine, I will just toss the antibiotics out and use the prescription that the hospital wrote me. The nurse says, I can't do that because she needs the antibiotics. I inquire as to what she needs it for. He then tells me that they are treating Gigi for two symptoms, first the pneumonia and second asthma. I then tell him that they told us last night that she did not have pneumonia, to which he responds and says yes she does as we have her blood tests back and her white blood cell count is very high indicating that there is an infection. I am quite upset by this time as they never told us any of this at the hospital---like nothing! Plus they tell me that I need to go back to Urgent Care and get them to tell me how much of the antibiotic she needs. Erghh!
I also discovered last night that our furnace is not working....so i make a few calls, pack up Jude, put Gigi back to bed (as by this time she is convinced that she is all better) and head to Urgent Care. Jude falls asleep (great timing) and then I have to wait for over a half hour as they sort everything out. They call the hospital have her records sent over, can't understand what the doctor wrote on her chart, call back to confirm, but it is busy for a while, and then they finally get through. So I finally get everything sorted and get home. I am asking myself what the heck just happened? This is our medical system? This is the health of my baby girl and it was the most frustrating process I have ever been through. I feel like we are just numbers on an assembly line! I was so angry. They also prescribed her three different types of 'steroids'. I am thinking, good grief she is 3 years old and they are pumping her full of steroids? Why? They didn't even take the time to explain her diagnosis, what was going on! Am I the only one who wants to know this stuff? Would you not want to know what the doctors diagnosed your child with?
I also called our Homeopath and emailed our practitioner who we usually see. She got back to me right away----and gave me some options. Here's the clincher, we have no benefits right now, and so these prescriptions are pricey, and we are also not covered for Homeopathic medicine either (it's the consults that add up, the remedies are very cheap). So what do we do? Which route do we take? I know which one I would prefer.
You see one of the first questions they ask you is whether or not she is up to date with her vaccinations. We don't vaccinate our kids through the health system, we do homeoprophylaxis, which is a homeopathic vaccination. So she has all of the protection that she would get through the 'vaccination' schedule. It is not illegal to do this, but the way you are treated it is like it is. Suddenly, it is our fault that she is sick because we didn't chose to do 'their' vaccinations. Even though the girl who is vaccinated is still getting pneumonia and being treated for the same symptoms. That doesn't matter though. They spent more time asking about her vaccinations than they did about what her symptoms were. What is wrong with our medical system? I feel like nobody wants to get to the root cause, they just want the quick band-aid (you know the quick fix) and let's move her on down the line so we can get to the next number, I mean patient.
So frustrating, so, so frustrating.
That is my vent for the night.....I will try and get some sleep now that I have got it off my chest! :o)
Thursday, 4 October 2012
Falling off the wagon
I feel as though I have 'fallen off the wagon'. Ok, I confess, I really have fallen off the wagon...not just feel like I have, I HAVE! I was doing really well, recording all of my many blessings, those 1000 blessings, those 1000 gifts to be thankful for. Now with 'Thanksgiving' just days away, I am feeling a little guilty.
I still have months of gifts to record on my blog because I am SOOO far behind. I have a little book that sits beside my bed and I try and record. It's only three; 3 gifts per day. That should not be hard, but lately it has been non-existent. I know that things seemed 'not as bad' when I took the time to be thankful.
Lately though, I have been so frustrated and angry. I hate not knowing how things are going to 'pan' out. I hate always wondering, questioning whether we will make it, whether or not God is on our side (even though I really do know the answer). I also wish that we were never called to be in Ministry.....it is so hard! Really, so hard! I have read books, blogs, articles, I have spoke with many, I mean many people in Ministry and there are some really tough times. So I should know that this is a time to grow, a time where God is teaching, pruning, picking out all those ugly spots that need to be picked out. I know that the pruning, the learning, the lessons, will never stop, as long as I am willing and committed to follow God's will, not mine.
For me it is the roller coaster of emotions that I just can't deal with. One minute we receive news that the funding is not coming in as we expected, the next we have witnessed God come through in a way we never expected and then all of a sudden we have a sick girl who will be transferred to the Children's Hospital tonight. So one minute I am angry and yelling at God, the next I am praising him and so completely amazed at what just happened and then I am on my knees worried and praying for the health of my little girl. I must look like a lunatic! And some how I am supposed to 'count'. I know that I do have so much to be grateful for. I am so blessed, but it is just so hard sometimes. I need help getting back on that wagon......I need an extra dose of faith and trust.
These three right here are worth more than 1000 gifts......they are the reason I am so thankful and have so much to praise Him for. Not to mention my incredible, amazing husband. I'm getting back on that wagon! :o)
Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving!
I still have months of gifts to record on my blog because I am SOOO far behind. I have a little book that sits beside my bed and I try and record. It's only three; 3 gifts per day. That should not be hard, but lately it has been non-existent. I know that things seemed 'not as bad' when I took the time to be thankful.
Lately though, I have been so frustrated and angry. I hate not knowing how things are going to 'pan' out. I hate always wondering, questioning whether we will make it, whether or not God is on our side (even though I really do know the answer). I also wish that we were never called to be in Ministry.....it is so hard! Really, so hard! I have read books, blogs, articles, I have spoke with many, I mean many people in Ministry and there are some really tough times. So I should know that this is a time to grow, a time where God is teaching, pruning, picking out all those ugly spots that need to be picked out. I know that the pruning, the learning, the lessons, will never stop, as long as I am willing and committed to follow God's will, not mine.
For me it is the roller coaster of emotions that I just can't deal with. One minute we receive news that the funding is not coming in as we expected, the next we have witnessed God come through in a way we never expected and then all of a sudden we have a sick girl who will be transferred to the Children's Hospital tonight. So one minute I am angry and yelling at God, the next I am praising him and so completely amazed at what just happened and then I am on my knees worried and praying for the health of my little girl. I must look like a lunatic! And some how I am supposed to 'count'. I know that I do have so much to be grateful for. I am so blessed, but it is just so hard sometimes. I need help getting back on that wagon......I need an extra dose of faith and trust.
These three right here are worth more than 1000 gifts......they are the reason I am so thankful and have so much to praise Him for. Not to mention my incredible, amazing husband. I'm getting back on that wagon! :o)
Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving!
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Pinned and Tried
Ok, here I am for my second 'pinned and tried'. I wanted to share some things I did for my little monkey's first bithday, but the camera is out in the van still (don't worry, it is well hidden) and I am not about to run out in my pj's to grab it, so it can wait until next week! :o)
I have to share this awesome shower/bath tub cleaner that I found on Pinterest. When I lived in Korea, I burnt my lungs out from some pretty strong cleaners I used. It was horrible! You see in Korea, when you move into a new place, the previous tenants do not have to clean the place before they move (disgusting hey). So, when my boss got me a bigger place to move into, I was naturally super excited (if you saw my first place you would understand my excitement--it was sooo tiny). I got my new place just in time for my mom and sister to come and stay. However, as I mentioned it was not cleaned before I moved in and the previous tenant smoked. YUCK! I ended up having to bleach EVERYTHING! I actually scrubbed the vinyl floor with bleach. It got to the point where I was dumping bleach, pure bleach right on the floor. Not smart on my part, but it got the black, smoke ridden floor back to it's honey brown, new state. It looked fabulous once I was done. I have not been able to use strong cleaners or bleach ever since. I really burnt my lungs out and was sick for a good week after my cleaning episode.
So fast forward 8 years and three kids later, I don't like to use strong, powerful, chemical ladden cleaners. The worst thing to clean for me has always been the bath tubs/showers because of all of the soap scum, hard water stains, etc. Plus when you give your kids baths every other day, you have to clean it often. I found this cleaner on pinterest and had to try it. I am hooked. It works amazing! I just cleaned my bath tub tonight and it is so sparkly and clean. Plus you barely have to scrub it and I know that I will not wake up sick tomorrow from the smell or chemicals! You really must try this!
Tub and Shower Magic Recipe
I have to share this awesome shower/bath tub cleaner that I found on Pinterest. When I lived in Korea, I burnt my lungs out from some pretty strong cleaners I used. It was horrible! You see in Korea, when you move into a new place, the previous tenants do not have to clean the place before they move (disgusting hey). So, when my boss got me a bigger place to move into, I was naturally super excited (if you saw my first place you would understand my excitement--it was sooo tiny). I got my new place just in time for my mom and sister to come and stay. However, as I mentioned it was not cleaned before I moved in and the previous tenant smoked. YUCK! I ended up having to bleach EVERYTHING! I actually scrubbed the vinyl floor with bleach. It got to the point where I was dumping bleach, pure bleach right on the floor. Not smart on my part, but it got the black, smoke ridden floor back to it's honey brown, new state. It looked fabulous once I was done. I have not been able to use strong cleaners or bleach ever since. I really burnt my lungs out and was sick for a good week after my cleaning episode.
So fast forward 8 years and three kids later, I don't like to use strong, powerful, chemical ladden cleaners. The worst thing to clean for me has always been the bath tubs/showers because of all of the soap scum, hard water stains, etc. Plus when you give your kids baths every other day, you have to clean it often. I found this cleaner on pinterest and had to try it. I am hooked. It works amazing! I just cleaned my bath tub tonight and it is so sparkly and clean. Plus you barely have to scrub it and I know that I will not wake up sick tomorrow from the smell or chemicals! You really must try this!
Tub and Shower Magic Recipe
12 ounces white vinegar
12 ounces liquid, blue dawn detergent
Directions:
1. Heat vinegar in microwave until hot and pour into squirt bottle.
2. Add the Dawn soap. Put the lid on and gently shake to incorporate.
3. You now have a powerful cleaning product that will melt soap scum and tub and shower buildup, clean sinks, appliances and just about anything. Just spray it on, scrub, rinse and be amazed. For tough soap scum build-up, spray the mixture on and allow it to sit as long as overnight. Then, scrub and rinse.
12 ounces liquid, blue dawn detergent
Directions:
1. Heat vinegar in microwave until hot and pour into squirt bottle.
2. Add the Dawn soap. Put the lid on and gently shake to incorporate.
3. You now have a powerful cleaning product that will melt soap scum and tub and shower buildup, clean sinks, appliances and just about anything. Just spray it on, scrub, rinse and be amazed. For tough soap scum build-up, spray the mixture on and allow it to sit as long as overnight. Then, scrub and rinse.
Friday, 31 August 2012
Pinned and Tried
I have always wanted to make a list of all of the things that I have 'pinned' and actually 'tried'. I have seen boards on Pinterest that do the same, but maybe if I start a 'Pinned and tried' Friday on my blog, it will force me to blog more, keep on top of this thing, feel like I have something to 'blog' about. Plus, I pin things and think to myself...I wonder if that really works or if I could actually pull that off, or that is too much work, but it looks nice. Trust me I have had some awesome successes and some epic failures (which I never took a photo of because I was so mad that i wasted the time, and supplies trying the darn thing and rather than trying to salvage it, I threw it ALL in the garbage).
My first 'pinned and tried' post is a yummy new recipe that I LOVE. I am not a pork eater. It kind of grosses me out and i am always afraid of under cooking it and getting worms! (not presenting a pretty picture here, I know). Not to mention the fact that I really don't know how to cook it. However, I can across this blog and have been slowly trying to change how we eat. I found this recipe for Pork Tenderloin and had all of the ingredients (except the pork) on hand. I went to the store and bought the pesticide/hormone free pork tenderloin and tried this easy recipe. It was DELICIOUS! A huge hit. Even my picky three year old loved it and kept asking for more chicken. She had no idea what 'pork' was, so I explained. She had a twisted expression on her face, but asked for more. I made it again last night and it is now a staple! Plus I always have leftover rice, meat and veggies, so tonight we had stir fry and it was just as tasty! Yay, I love finding and trying new, easy, yummy recipes.
Try it and let me know what you think! Or heck play along and let me know what things you have 'pinned and tried'!
Have a great long weekend! We are off to celebrate a little monkey's 1st birthday!!!
**Recipe and picture taken from 100 Days of Real Food**
On a little side note. The only thing that I did differently was omitted the cilantro. I didn't have any on hand and my DH is not a fan of cilantro.
My first 'pinned and tried' post is a yummy new recipe that I LOVE. I am not a pork eater. It kind of grosses me out and i am always afraid of under cooking it and getting worms! (not presenting a pretty picture here, I know). Not to mention the fact that I really don't know how to cook it. However, I can across this blog and have been slowly trying to change how we eat. I found this recipe for Pork Tenderloin and had all of the ingredients (except the pork) on hand. I went to the store and bought the pesticide/hormone free pork tenderloin and tried this easy recipe. It was DELICIOUS! A huge hit. Even my picky three year old loved it and kept asking for more chicken. She had no idea what 'pork' was, so I explained. She had a twisted expression on her face, but asked for more. I made it again last night and it is now a staple! Plus I always have leftover rice, meat and veggies, so tonight we had stir fry and it was just as tasty! Yay, I love finding and trying new, easy, yummy recipes.
Try it and let me know what you think! Or heck play along and let me know what things you have 'pinned and tried'!
Have a great long weekend! We are off to celebrate a little monkey's 1st birthday!!!
**Recipe and picture taken from 100 Days of Real Food**
On a little side note. The only thing that I did differently was omitted the cilantro. I didn't have any on hand and my DH is not a fan of cilantro.
Grilled Teriyaki Pork Tenderloin
Yield: 4 – 5 servings (depending on the size of your tenderloin)
Ingredients
- 1-1.5 lbs pork tenderloin, organic and/or local recommended
- ½ cup soy sauce, low-sodium recommended
- ½ cup cilantro, chopped
- 2 tablespoons fresh ginger, peeled and diced
- 2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil
- 2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
- 6 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/4 cup water (optional)
Directions
- Mix together all marinade ingredients from the soy sauce down to the garlic (including the water if using to help cover the meat).
- Pour marinade over the pork tenderloin in a fairly small container so the liquid covers the meat. Let it marinate in the fridge for 30 – 60 minutes (the longer the better although if you are really short on time 20 minutes will do the trick). If the marinade doesn’t fully cover the meat then flip the pork halfway through the marinating process.
- Heat up the grill to a medium-high temperature (we like to spray a little cooking oil first to prevent sticking).
- Grill the pork for about 10 – 15 minutes on each side or until the internal temperature reaches 150 degrees F.
- Slice and serve warm with other Asian inspired dishes…enjoy!
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
This golden moment....
There are some moments while trying to be a parent to your precious gifts from God that just make things golden. That just make all of the tears, prayers, sweat, blood, sleepless nights, worry, doubt, frustration worth every single moment. Tonight I had one of those moments and it made my heart so happy! I thanked God for this moment, for this precious 5 year old boy. For taking those extra minutes when I was so tired and had so much left to do, but put it aside and cuddled and talked with my boy. I need to take more of those moments!
My boy shared his heart, his feelings, his fears, his dreams with me. Sometimes I take his age and intelligence level for granted. We talked about all sorts of wonderful things. We shared the gospel, we talked about Bible verses, we discussed the plans that God has for him, he shared his vision for preaching and building a church and for telling the people how much Jesus loves him. He told me the story of how Peter became a disciple and I was shocked. He knew more than I did. This boy of mine has such a passion and love for the Bible, for Jesus, for the world. I love his pure innocence, his faith, his desire for all people to know and love Jesus as much as he does. I love his love for God's word and his confidence to share what the Bible says. I learn so much from him and see so many of my faults and imperfections while talking to him and listening to him. It is truly humbling. I found myself confessing and seeking forgiveness for my sins, right there while lying in bed cuddling with my 5 year old.
Then I was choking back the tears. My boy told me how much he loved his family. How much he loved me, his daddy, his sister and his brother. He told me that his family was so precious and that when he was a grown man and a daddy he would still love his family. We talked about him being a Dad and all of the things he was going to teach to his kids and how it was most important to teach them about God and the Bible. He told me that he wants nine kids (I pray that the Lord is equipping a strong wife for him right now); 6 boys and 3 girls. He told me what a great Aunty his sister Genesis was going to be and that Uncle Jude would be a cool Uncle too. He then told me that I was going to be a really good grandmother to his kids. It was so sweet, so pure, so loving and I had to fight back the tears. These moments, these little conversations just melt my heart and make me realize how incredibly blessed I am.
This precious boy has been through a lot this past year. I am so thankful for his resilient, forgiving, loving nature. He had a rough school year where at one point he was in tears and didn't want to go back because he had no friends. My social butterfly who loves everyone, who talks to and can encourage anyone, was constantly being told that "on the friend scale of 0 to 10 he was zero"! For some strange reason the boys in his class had it in their heads that they were only allowed one friend per day and as he was the new kid in town and did not go to the same church as most, nor participated in the same hockey team, he was zero. There is nothing more heart wrenching as a parent to see the look of hurt, dejection and pain in your child's eyes. To see your child's spirit crushed and to watch him try and keep those tears from falling. We went to the teachers, John spoke with some of the kids, but right to the very last day of school he had to put up with being told that 'you are not my friend today' and watch as the kids refused to sit by him. You know, we as his parents handled it worse than he did. This little boy prayed every night for his 'so called' friends and thought that if he could just go to their place and arrange a play date they would be his friends.
We, however, witnessed him doing things that he would never do just to get attention. I watched as he would try all sorts of shenanigans to get kids to take notice of him and guess what, he usually landed himself in trouble. I never dreamt that I would have to deal with these issues in Kindergarten. That I would have to have talks with him about what true friendships are. That I would have to tell him that you can't force people to be your friends (I mean I deal with that, but he shouldn't have too). That I would have to sit him down and tell him to stop doing these things to get their attention. True friends will want to play with you, talk with you, pray for you, take time for you and not expect you to do silly things in order to take notice of you. The saving grace this past year, was his incredible teachers. They understood him, loved him, saw his unique enthusiastic character. They encouraged him and they just loved him. They saw how incredible his heart was, how much he loved Jesus and how much he loved his classmates. They also had talks with the class every single day about being friends with everyone, but it obviously did little.
We have moved and are consequently trying to find him a new school and really pray and figure out what is best for him. He has also had to endure a lot of tests recently and we are going through more to find out what is going on. Nothing serious (we hope), but none the less it will have an impact on his schooling and learning (somewhat). After my conversation with him tonight, I realized how important the heart is. I may stress and worry about how much he will learn, how fast he will learn, whether or not he will be at the top of his class, or the bottom, how academic he will be, whether or not the curriculum is too challenging or not challenging enough, how much time he is spending doing his printing, the constant battle to do some printing, that he can't count to 100 yet, that he is not reading yet, especially novels! I know that this little boy of mine will learn, and he will get through. I also know that I will continue to place more emphasis on developing, nurturing, protecting, and guiding his heart.
The Bible says that you can have all knowledge, faith, and prophetic powers, but if you don't have love, you have nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2). The Bible also says that the greatest commandment is to love God with all of our heart and then to love our neighbour as ourselves (Luke 10:27). Love God first and foremost! I think my boy is well on his way. I pray for his heart and I pray for good, solid, biblical wisdom, I pray for love. I don't care if he is the next Einstein, I care about where is heart is at!
My precious boy, my miracle, oh how you have taught me so much and have made this journey as a parent worth more than gold itself. I pray that we will share many more golden moments like tonight!
My boy shared his heart, his feelings, his fears, his dreams with me. Sometimes I take his age and intelligence level for granted. We talked about all sorts of wonderful things. We shared the gospel, we talked about Bible verses, we discussed the plans that God has for him, he shared his vision for preaching and building a church and for telling the people how much Jesus loves him. He told me the story of how Peter became a disciple and I was shocked. He knew more than I did. This boy of mine has such a passion and love for the Bible, for Jesus, for the world. I love his pure innocence, his faith, his desire for all people to know and love Jesus as much as he does. I love his love for God's word and his confidence to share what the Bible says. I learn so much from him and see so many of my faults and imperfections while talking to him and listening to him. It is truly humbling. I found myself confessing and seeking forgiveness for my sins, right there while lying in bed cuddling with my 5 year old.
Then I was choking back the tears. My boy told me how much he loved his family. How much he loved me, his daddy, his sister and his brother. He told me that his family was so precious and that when he was a grown man and a daddy he would still love his family. We talked about him being a Dad and all of the things he was going to teach to his kids and how it was most important to teach them about God and the Bible. He told me that he wants nine kids (I pray that the Lord is equipping a strong wife for him right now); 6 boys and 3 girls. He told me what a great Aunty his sister Genesis was going to be and that Uncle Jude would be a cool Uncle too. He then told me that I was going to be a really good grandmother to his kids. It was so sweet, so pure, so loving and I had to fight back the tears. These moments, these little conversations just melt my heart and make me realize how incredibly blessed I am.
This precious boy has been through a lot this past year. I am so thankful for his resilient, forgiving, loving nature. He had a rough school year where at one point he was in tears and didn't want to go back because he had no friends. My social butterfly who loves everyone, who talks to and can encourage anyone, was constantly being told that "on the friend scale of 0 to 10 he was zero"! For some strange reason the boys in his class had it in their heads that they were only allowed one friend per day and as he was the new kid in town and did not go to the same church as most, nor participated in the same hockey team, he was zero. There is nothing more heart wrenching as a parent to see the look of hurt, dejection and pain in your child's eyes. To see your child's spirit crushed and to watch him try and keep those tears from falling. We went to the teachers, John spoke with some of the kids, but right to the very last day of school he had to put up with being told that 'you are not my friend today' and watch as the kids refused to sit by him. You know, we as his parents handled it worse than he did. This little boy prayed every night for his 'so called' friends and thought that if he could just go to their place and arrange a play date they would be his friends.
We, however, witnessed him doing things that he would never do just to get attention. I watched as he would try all sorts of shenanigans to get kids to take notice of him and guess what, he usually landed himself in trouble. I never dreamt that I would have to deal with these issues in Kindergarten. That I would have to have talks with him about what true friendships are. That I would have to tell him that you can't force people to be your friends (I mean I deal with that, but he shouldn't have too). That I would have to sit him down and tell him to stop doing these things to get their attention. True friends will want to play with you, talk with you, pray for you, take time for you and not expect you to do silly things in order to take notice of you. The saving grace this past year, was his incredible teachers. They understood him, loved him, saw his unique enthusiastic character. They encouraged him and they just loved him. They saw how incredible his heart was, how much he loved Jesus and how much he loved his classmates. They also had talks with the class every single day about being friends with everyone, but it obviously did little.
We have moved and are consequently trying to find him a new school and really pray and figure out what is best for him. He has also had to endure a lot of tests recently and we are going through more to find out what is going on. Nothing serious (we hope), but none the less it will have an impact on his schooling and learning (somewhat). After my conversation with him tonight, I realized how important the heart is. I may stress and worry about how much he will learn, how fast he will learn, whether or not he will be at the top of his class, or the bottom, how academic he will be, whether or not the curriculum is too challenging or not challenging enough, how much time he is spending doing his printing, the constant battle to do some printing, that he can't count to 100 yet, that he is not reading yet, especially novels! I know that this little boy of mine will learn, and he will get through. I also know that I will continue to place more emphasis on developing, nurturing, protecting, and guiding his heart.
The Bible says that you can have all knowledge, faith, and prophetic powers, but if you don't have love, you have nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2). The Bible also says that the greatest commandment is to love God with all of our heart and then to love our neighbour as ourselves (Luke 10:27). Love God first and foremost! I think my boy is well on his way. I pray for his heart and I pray for good, solid, biblical wisdom, I pray for love. I don't care if he is the next Einstein, I care about where is heart is at!
My precious boy, my miracle, oh how you have taught me so much and have made this journey as a parent worth more than gold itself. I pray that we will share many more golden moments like tonight!
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Brave or Afraid?
We have poured everything into this Ministry and in three short weeks, we are without our Plan B. You see I am supposed to go back to work and my job is back in Regina. John has been asked to stay on, but this small amount he makes for a huge 12 hours a week, will not pay our bills. This Ministry is not a part time Ministry. Full time is putting it mildly. It is not a job where he can work 9 to 5 and just leave everything at work. Oh, but the experience he is getting is second to none. He has had to deal with more things in these past few months than most have to deal with in 20 years. Still, it is hard, so very hard. I am a Planner and I don't have a plan. Our plan is to simply let God be in control and it is the hardest, biggest leap of faith we have taken yet.
One day as I was crying out to God, I read this quote from one of my favourite bloggers over here. I think she sums it up beautifully!
"But bravery is sometimes being the only one who knows you’re scared to death and acknowledging just how much you need God."
One day as I was crying out to God, I read this quote from one of my favourite bloggers over here. I think she sums it up beautifully!
"But bravery is sometimes being the only one who knows you’re scared to death and acknowledging just how much you need God."
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