1000 Gifts

567.  Going to the park.

568.  Seeing him get back at the Youth Center.

569.  Knowing that God has stirred a passion in his heart.

570.  The last swimming lesson.

571.  Seeing how much she loves the water.

572.  A babysitter who could watch Zech while we were swimming with the little two.

573.  My kids doing chores and helping me clean.

574.  Seeing and hearing Bill Hybels preach a great message.

575.  A 'life verse' and thinking how I need one.

576.  Vietnamese food.

577.  A clean house.

578.  Lunch with good friends.

579.  Heading to the bouncy castles for 2 hours or running, screaming and jumping.

580.  Feeling blessed to have hubby's who are so involved and playful with the kids!

581.  Celebrating 3 years with our beautiful little girl.

582.  The look on her face when she woke up to a bed decorated with balloons and streamers.

583.  Her 1st hair package.  She was supposed to have it washed, dried and cut and styled, bust she was a little scared so they just did the cut and style.

584.  Princess sparkles, bling and curls.

585.  The special treatment they gave her and the free cupcake ring she got to pick out for her birthday!

586.  Picking out her b-day cupcakes.

587.  Her special birthday supper---breakfast supper.

588.  Her big brother praying for her and asking God to watch over  her---ahh melt my heart!

589.  Seeing her play with her presents.

590.  Going for a nice long walk with just my girl and my baby.

591.  Making it up the massive hill.

592.  Surviving 4 hours of dentist appointments.

593.  Compliments on how well behaved our kids were for those 4 hours.

594.  Free toothbrushes, picks, toothpaste, toys, etc. from the dentist.

595.  Hearing that I have no 'big' cavities, just some old ones that needed to be repaired (I was convinced I had massive cavities).

596.  Finishing the final preparations for the party.

597.  Seeing how excited she is for her party!

598.  Having the party at 'The Garage'.

599.  Setting up and knowing that we will have enough space.

600.  Watching the kids go crazy.

601.  Seeing her with her little 'girlies'.

602.  Homemade ice-cream cake.

603.  An ice cream bar with lots of yummy toppings.

604.  Watching her open her presents.

605.  Time with family.

606.  Watching cousins play.

607.  Bouncy castles.

608.  A little fearless, 2 year old (Emmett) soaked from sweat.

609.  Daddy taking the older two to Banff.

610.  Sleeping in and cuddling with my baby.

611.  Hearing about their time in Banff and how mych they love having 'special' days.

612.  Watching my boy stand up for himself and for his team to some bullies at soccer.

613.  His field trip to Dairy Queen.

614.  Listening to him tell me how to make ice-cream.

615.  That God hears and knows my every thought and will answer in the most timely ways.

616.  John meeting up with an old friend and encouraging him and offering biblical wisdom to him (this friend leads a really rough life and needs a lot of prayer).

617.  Seeing how God is using my hubby and all of his weaknesses.

618.  More dentist appointments and knowing that we have coverage (for most of it).

619.  Bubbles and playing outside.

620.  Pulling my kids in their space ships.

621.  Bouncy castles and new friends.

622.  Feeling like I have known her my entire life.

623.  My knight in shining armour who came to rescue me.

624.  New silly games.

625.  Trying to catch up on blogs and emails.

626.  A safe trip and good driving weather.

627.  My 15 year High School Reunion.  Thanks to T and C for all the planning and preparations! You guys are awesome!

628.  Seeing old friends, their spouses and meeting their kids.

629.  Watching our kids play together and reminisching on old times.

630.  Spending the night with my sister and her family.

631.  An incredible father for my kidlets and knowing how lucky I am to have him.

632.  An awesome breakfast---thanks Mel!

633.  Seeing my Grandma (the last goodbye right before she passed--so, so grateful)!

634.  A safe trip home.

635.  My wonderful husband who gets Zech up every morning, gets him ready, feeds him and takes him to school (only 6 more days left).

636.  Audiologists.

637.  Xerion and the Acute care.

638.  Idelweiss Village, their cheese, meat and marzipan iced cakes.

639.  Soccer was cancelled, so a suprise Daddy/son movie date.

640.  Two sick little ones finally getting some much needed sleep.

641.  Hearing all about the movie from one excited little boy.

642.  Hearing Daddy's take on the movie and how hilarious it was to see his boy laugh so hard (most people were laughing at Zech because of how hard and loud he was laughing).

643.  Celebrating the life of my dear Grandmother, my last grandparent passed away and she has been such an incredible, important part of my life.  I will miss her so much!

644.  So very thankful for last visits and being able to say good-bye!

645.  A beautiful, intimate funeral service.

646.  Re-counting memories of my Granny.

647.  hearing my cousin give an awesome Eulogy totally depicting my dear Granny and her many unique characteristics.

648. Getting back just in time for him to go to work.

649.  The rain holding back enough to still play.

650.  Watching him play his last two soccer games for the outdoor season.

651.  The coaches who volunteer their time and skills.

652.  The Family Center's open house.

653.  Friends that come out  to support us.

654.  Supper with good friends and the time to catch up.

655.  Kindergarten graduation.

656.  Seeing how much care she invested thie year for each child.

657.  Celebrating his 'enthusiasm'.

658.  Sports day.

659.  Hearing all about how fun one of his last days were.

660. School's out for Summer!!

661.  A young girl accepting Jesus into her heart.

662.  An amazing friend who watched our kids so that John could mentor this young girl.

663.  Hearing how well he did getting his cavities filled.

664.  Celebrating my nephews 2nd birthday.

665.  Answers from some tests.

666.  Jiggling and wiggling my way through my 1st Zumba class.

667.  Exhausted kids falling into bed.

668.  Family time at Elbow falls.

669.  Racing with my kids, even though I looked ridiculous.

670.  Relaxing around the lakes by Elbow Falls.

How do I title this....

It has been months since I sat down and tried to devote some time to this seriously neglected blog.  I planned it all week.....Friday night will be the mad blog marathon night in which I catch up on a lot of blogs.  I am not going to disclose how many 'blogs' are sitting in the draft box! :o)  However, it is just now that I am sitting down.  Kids won't sleep, they keep fighting over the silliest things, I threaten, I take toys away, I get angry, then my oldest is yelling so loud that I feel the blood begin to boil, as I just got the youngest down and he is not a heavy sleeper.  Luckily he sleeps through the commotion.  I walk into their room to see what is going on, and my oldest had puked.  He is desperately trying to clean it up (bless his heart for trying, but it kind of made more work for me), so I just spent the last half hour cleaning up puke (you know why he puked----he was chewing on a dumb balloon and he made himself gag, so up came everything he had for supper).  Yup, my Friday night blog night alright!

Ever since I started blogging I have 'blogger brain'.  I am not sure if that is a real term or not, I think I made it up and maybe it's not even the right term.  However, those who blog will get what I am saying (I hope---maybe I am mad)......you know the constant blog posts running through your head at sometimes the most random and inopportune times.  Yup, I think I would have thousands upon thousands of posts if I only had the time to sit down and write out all of the posts that flow through my head.  At the same time, I am glad that I haven't wrote some of these posts out as they would reflect emotions that I am not really proud of. 

Hence the reason for a long, much needed break.  The last few months have been a bizarre roller coaster ride of emotions.  I, unfortunately have not handled it very well.  In fact I have really went into hibernation mode and have not had the desire to be around anyone or anything.  I have hit a wall of depression like I have never ever experienced before.  I have cried a lot, I have yelled a lot, I have taken emotions out on my husband and my kids and I am so not proud of that.  I have never felt so desperate, I have never been so angry, I have never felt the range of emotions that I have had these past few months.  I am not going to go into the details, some are gory, breath taking, miraculous, horrendous, venomous......see a roller coaster!  At one point we were instructed to take legal action, I wanted more than that.  My husband has been the sane one, the solid rock, the one to remind me that God does see and knows everything, that God does vindicate. 

I feel like I have had to do this so often since becoming a Christian, since devoting my life to Christ. Turn the other way and let Christ vindicate. So many horrible, hurtful accusations, lies, rejections, words, so many false assumptions, feelings of abandonment, of never belonging, of never being understood.  Who do I trust? Who do I turn to?  Who will understand me? Who will accept me and all of the mistakes I make?  Who will love me no matter what?  Who will see and hear and accept the burdens I have in my heart?  Who will take this pain, sorrow, sadness from me?  Who do I go to for help when I can't do it anymore?  Who will give me peace, give me rest? Who will help me with the physical suffering, the mental anguish? Who will have mercy on me?  I have the answer, I have had it all along, but I have been searching in the wrong places.

I realized something, and it took me to get to this broken, fallen, messy point in my life.  God is enough. He knows everything I am going through, he knows my every thought, even when I try and 'hide' it from him.  I don't need to 'fit in', I don't need to try to reconcile and restore relationships that have went south for the 100th time and be blamed continuously for them when I have tried everything and it isn't reciprocated. He knows the steps I have taken.  I don't have to prove myself to people who will never see or accept the truth.  I don't have to let the pain, and heart ache of being rejected for the way I desire to live my life fully for Him consume me.  I am not alone in this.  He loves me, He loves you, He created me, He created you and that has to be enough, that will be enough. 

There have been these verses, that I have pondered for months now.  I have read commentaries on them, I have read every single translation I could get my hands on, I have talked to my husband about them,  I have yelled at God about it, I have begged him to leave me alone, I have tried to hide it, reject it, but He is relentless and He never gives up.  For a week or so, it seemed that every time I went to the Bible, it was right there, I would go online to read scripture and guess which verses appeared.  I would read blogs and here was the same portion of the Bible. You would not believe the people that He all of a sudden brought into our lives.

God of All Comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-11) ESV
³  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ⁵ For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.^{[a] 6}  If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. ⁷ Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

⁸ For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers,^[b] of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. ⁹ Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. ¹⁰  He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. ¹¹  You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.


 So my God, is the God of all comfort, he knows all of our afflictions and he really truly has used these afflictions that we have had to endure to comfort others.  It is not an easy road, it will never be. I have begged Him to take us out of Ministry as I haven't been able to handle it, I am not ready, I am not equipped, I am not good enough and I really haven't had a loving heart.  However, he hasn't, he isn't and he won't.  In fact, He has thrown us into it, into it like we have never been before and it is scary.  He will work through our weaknesses, He will be there to comfort us. He is enough!

Happy Birthday Princess Gigi!

I can not believe my Princess turned 3 years old today.  We have been counting down this year for months it seems.  She had her birthday planned for seriously a couple of months now.  Every night during our cuddle time, the topic of discussion always revolved around 'birthdays'.  I had to laugh because Zech always tries to convince her that she needs some type of 'army' theme thrown into hers, or perhaps some warriors, super hero's, and guns.  She usually agrees, but sorry Zech there will not be any 'manly' things at this Princesses birthday!

We had a busy day.  I decorated her room in streamers and three pink balloons last night.  She got her new Dora computer first thing this morning and loved it.  She then got to open the rest of her presents and was so cute.  She just kept thanking us.  She played and we then had a quick lunch and headed to Beaners.  I booked a girly package for her.  They were supposed to wash her hair, blow dry it, cut it and then style it with pretty curls and sparkles.  She was a little terrified, so we didn't do the wash, or even the blow dry.  She did get some fancy bling put in her hair, and loads of sparkles and of course princess curls.  The lady who did her hair was awesome.  She really made such a big deal about it being her birthday.  After we were done, Daddy whistled (she always goes to daddy to show him how she looks) and she was pretty happy.  I didn't know how much she liked it, she really seemed shy and quite scared.  We then took her to the mall, had her pick out some cupcakes and did some shopping as she requested breakfast supper for her special birthday supper.  Funny girl.  She looked up at me and said "Mom, is my hair falling out?" and I said "yes because it is such a rainy, dreary day".  She was quite upset about this and then told me that we needed to go back and get them to do it again.  So that meant she liked it.  I will post more about my girl and a letter soon.

 Her new Mini Mouse Jumper

 Her big brother was so excited for her birthday too! He told everyone at school, everyone at the mall, superstore and well anyone who would listen that it was his sister's birthday.  The most precious part was just before I snapped this photo, he asked to pray for his sister.  So he prayed for her and thanked God for her and her birthday and asked God to keep her safe.  A proud parent moment for sure! Love these three and I love watching how much they love one another.

 Princess hair and curls.  Too bad you can't see all of the sparkles!

My girl on her third birthday!

Jude at 9 months

I am trying to catch up and keep better records.  I feel like, you being my last child, have been a little neglected in the recording of the milestones department, and yes even taking pictures.  I have been quite slack.  You have changed so much this past month.....

Jude at 9 months:

- weighs 20 lbs 11 oz.

- is 30 inches long.

- wears size 12 month clothing and some 12 - 18 month clothing too.

- is constantly on the go and still very much obsessed with going up the stairs (our gate isn't long enough, so we have to get a little creative----you always find the holes, or move things over so you can squeeze through)

- finally had two teeth pop through (while we were on holidays).

- now bite me during feeding all of the time and think it is funny.

- have been quite fussy with your eating lately--naturally so I guess!

- went on your first holiday and had so many firsts (camping, seeing the Enchanted Forest, seeing farm animals, the beach and the cold Okanogan lake, going to the States, seeing and feeling the ocean, the sand, touching star fish and other sea creatures, visiting cousins in Oregon, going to Aquariums)

- continues to pull yourself up on to anything and you will let go now--yikes.

- does the bear crawl a lot.

- loves to be around other children, especially your brother and sister.

- plays peek-a-boo.

- is still really happy and content.  You have no problems playing and entertaining yourself.  I forget that you are around sometimes.

- loves cuddles and snuggles.

- loves bath time, swimming and anything water related.

- is such a chatterbox. 

- still gives the best kisses.

- moved to your own room now and you hate it!

- has about two naps.

- still not sleeping through the night....it's worst than ever I feel!

- loves to be outside and go for walks in the stroller.

- has an obsession with balls.

- still love your nummies!