When your mind is racing....

It is 1:34 am, yes that would be in the morning, and I CAN'T SLEEP!!! I need my sleep, but my mind is everywhere. How do you quiet a racing mind, how do you slow and mute the random thoughts, the worries, the stress? SCRIPTURE, I know it's my weapon, I know it is my defense, but yet I struggle.

I worry about my little one who was admitted into the hospital this evening. What is wrong, how is she doing, does she need some 'cuggles' from her momma? I know her daddy is right beside her and can comfort her and give her those 'cuggles' when she needs and wants them, but it is the not knowing and the motherly instinct and yearning to be there to hold and comfort your child when they are sick.

I can go with her big brother in the morning to hopefully take her home. They believe it is some kind of bacterial infection, but when we couldn't get the high fever to break and neither could they, she was admitted and started on an IV. She was also complaining about her eyes, and that is one thing that you just don't take lightly (well at least we don't). It has been a long winter of illness and of trying to get things figured out with this little monkey.

Exhaustion, pure Exhaustion. It is times like these where we need community, we need support, we need help, but the only place we can turn is to HIM to give us the strength, the endurance, the energy to just carry on, one day at a time, no matter how beaten down, frustrated, stressed, exhausted, we may feel. I look to the cross.......

Please pray for this little one.

Wonderful Wednesday

Another month means another giveaway. I actually had a give-away all planned, but I changed my mind…. perhaps at a later date. Since I started these giveaways, I was on a frantic search to find people, organizations, etc. that I wanted to bring awareness to and offer support. I knew of a few, but not enough to extend beyond a few months. It has been amazing how many incredible people and organizations I have come across and have added to my list, that God has really laid on my heart.

This month though, I really wanted to draw attention to the devastation in Japan. We really are not affected by natural disasters as severe as Hurricanes, Tsunami’s, Earthquakes. Growing up in the Prairies, you don’t really see these disasters. Not to say that we didn’t have any, as I remember Black Friday in Edmonton, I remember the flood in Thorsby, the Strawberry creek flood and we can’t forget the floods of the North Saskatchewan River. The closest I have come to experiencing a Hurricane was when we were in the Cayman's. We got to see the complete devastation that Ivan did on this tiny Island country. The second week, we watched as a hurricane was heading our way, but then turned into a major tropical storm. We were stuck in our hotel for a week. We went a few days without power. When we did try and get out, the wind was so strong, we saw trees knocked down, lamp posts outside our unit on the ground and the sand felt like tiny needles prickling you all over your body. We watched as the waves from the ocean washed over the road close to our hotel. It was something I have never expereinced before, and it was mild in comparison to a hurricane. These natural disasters pale in comparison to the thousands of lives lost to a wall of water in mere minutes. The devastation that the earth quake caused as it shook and battered a nation. One disaster is more than enough to handle and deal with, but if we really take a look at Japan and what it has and is still facing, it is incredible. Earthquake, tsunami, volcano, Nuclear meltdown; unfathomable!

Watching the video footage is surreal, you have to keep reminding yourself that this is not computer generated…it's the real thing. Towns obliterated,and thousands of lives lost in mere minutes. It will take a long time to for the Japanese to rebuild, and heal. Lots of prayers and support are needed for this nation. So this month's giveaway I want to focus on supporting Japan. Another issue that has really been prevalent when trying to decide what organization to give to, is which ones are legit. After Haiti, it was shocking to realize how many crooked thieves cashed in on people's generosity and desire to help the People of Haiti and not line the pocket books of a scam artist. Luckily some favourite organizations are offering some support or advice on how to support: Samaritan's Purse, Red Cross, Compassion. I wanted to check out something a little different.....I wanted to see which crafters out there were using their talents, to give to the people in Japan. At first it seemed like a daunting task and I wasn't able to find that much, but then I refined my search a bit (amazing how you can do that) and I found a whole bunch of amazing websites, etsy shops, etc. that are doing amazing things to aide the people in Japan. This blog highlighted numerous blogs that were doing something to support the Japanese. I found this Etsy shop that featured various artists selling their crafts with the proceeds going towards a charitable organization working in Japan. I learned that the children's clothing store Carter's is doing a really neat Origami crane fundraiser. For every origami crane that is made and donated, Carter's will donate a piece of clothing and then will send the cranes to Japan to let the children know how much they are thought of. Check out their website for the full details and hurry because the deadline is Apr. 25. My Aunty Elaine is really great at doing origami and if I lived closer, I would get her to teach and help me! In the end, I decided that I would offer one of my lucky readers the chance to win a product from an artist who is donating 100% of the proceeds to an organization that is providing aid to the people in Japan. The following two items were what I decided to offer: 1. The Refuge/Home necklace - 100% of the proceeds of this necklace are being donated to the Red Cross. 2. The 'Faith' retro circle bag - 100% of the proceeds are going to Samaritan's Purse. Please leave a comment before next Thursday, April 14, 2011. I want to know if you have ever experienced a natural disaster or major trauma and how you coped and dealt with it? Also tell me which item you would like. Happy Wednesday and remember to pray for the people in Japan.

This Journey...

When I started this blog, the name came to me instantly--THE JOURNEY AHEAD. I knew that we really did have a journey ahead of us, but what we never know is how that journey is going to end, what direction it is going to go, which turn it will take, when we will have to back track a bit because we have found ourselves a little lost, or perhaps we have come to the fork and just need to stay and pray, before we take the next move.

This has pretty much summed up our lives; my life since accepting Christ. It has been hard as I am a planner and I like to know exactly where I am going, but my way is not HIS way and generally not the right way. Surrendering that control to him has been one of the most challenging things in my life.

There have been quite a few really tough years, or seasons. This past year has definitely been one of them. The hardest bar none on so many levels, however we have learned so much and God has really been working in our lives, purging, pruning, preparing us for what I know he has in store for us on this next leg of the journey. I won't lie, it has been hard. There have been so many times where we have just wanted to give up, throw the towel in and forget the things that we know God has been speaking to us about and go our own way, you know the journey that is far more traveled---not the narrow road. It is during those times where we have really seen and felt God's presence in our lives and come to the realization that HE really does love us, care for us. Why do we forget or even question that?

So lots of changes are happening. Huge changes, exciting changes, scary changes, but oh how we love change! ;o) Lately it seems like all of a sudden so many doors have opened for John and for us. The journey that has led up to these open doors has been a perplexing one, one that we have kind of looked back on and said 'what the heck', but He knows what He is doing and has a plan for us. So with that being said, these next few weeks are really critical times for us and we could really use your prayers. We need to know exactly where God wants us to be, what direction on this journey He wants us to take. We need wisdom, discernment and clarity to hear His voice and not succumb to our own emotions.

Soon there will be a few announcements. I say a few, because yes I am holding out a little! ;o) As Zech says, "mom it's not a secret anymore, I can tell people now".

Hopefully soon this blog won't be as neglected as it has been either........

For now, please if you think about us, keep us in your prayers!

A new job

Recent changes in our lives......I just started a new job. I am a Planning Analyst for the RCMP. God does work in incredible ways and I actually got this job back in November, but had to go through an intense Security Clearance process. I was offered two jobs on the same day. It was kind of funny, as I had been praying pretty hard for a job and then I got two. At first I was really confused and didn't know what to do, but then clarity came. One of the jobs was an Assignment position for 4 months and the other job was an indeterminate position, but was conditional subject to my Security Clearance going through. So I accepted both. I took the Assignment while I waited for the permanent one to be finalized.

I was just on assignment with Service Canada College and it was an amazing experience. I was a learning consultant and had the opportunity to re-design modules of courses, design workshops, etc. LOVED IT! I loved the work, the people, my boss, the atmosphere, everything. I learned so much and accomplished a lot in that short period that I was there. It was really hard to leave, however i need to be somewhere permanently.

So now I am with the RCMP in my new, permanent position. It has been a hard couple of weeks. It is always a bit stressful, overwhelming, etc. when starting a new position, but this was even more so. I now understand why I had to go through the 'security clearance' that I did. The information that I use for my job and that passes through my office, my desk, is eye opening.

We don't have TV, I don't read the newspapers, except for when I really want to know something and search it out online (which hasn't happened a lot lately). Now I need to know this stuff and am surrounded by it. I went from Service Excellence to Crime in Saskatchewan. I can't even talk to my husband about some of this stuff. There have been a few times this past week, where I have just had to stop, take a break and go talk to God, or I probably would have had a break down in the office. Some of the things affect me hard, I don't know why, but I have really come to realize how dark and evil this world is and how much we need God, we need Jesus. If I ever hear anyone tell me that we humans are not sinful beings (oh yes I have heard that a lot), I would laugh in their face and tell them to open their eyes. I understand that we live in Canada and it is no where near as corrupt, dangerous, crime ridden, etc, as some other countries (believe me I know), but we still have so much work to do.

I can say that it is a very interesting job and that I know there will never be a dull moment. I also have great bosses, colleagues and they really promote an atmosphere that is light and full of fun. Plus there are perks like a couple of gyms (free), walking tracks, depot which has amazing cheap food (it is almost worth it for me to buy my lunch rather than bring one as it is so cheap) and it is 5 minutes down the road from our place. I can walk or ride my bike once the sidewalks clear.

Happy Friday and I am feeling pretty blessed to have a job, even though it has been a difficult transition.

Here is a picture I am sharing--totally un-related to this post, but it cracks me up! We took this when we were in Calgary in February. I love the expressions on all of their faces. These 4 little monkeys! :o)

And the Winners Are......

Thanks for the great comments again! I have a few new songs that I need to check out now. I apologize for being late with this (should have been posted yesterday). We are going through some big transitions (especially me) this week.

Crystal and Casey, I left your names in.....it's only fair! :o)

However the winners are:

1.) Faith
2.) Aunty Elaine

I will mail them out to you. Faith I do need your address though, so I will email you. Aunty Elaine I have your address and will mail it to you (perfect timing for your new grandson coming soon)!

Congrats ladies and thanks again for all of the comments!!

Just had to share

I haven't been great at posting lately. To be honest, it has been really hard to even want or desire to get onto the computer. I work all day long on the computer and when I get home, all I want to do is go through a technology cleanse. Does that make sense?

I also haven't been taking that many photos, but John has been taking a few, so that has helped. I did go out and get the kids some new art supplies a month ago (I know--a month ago) and we had a good time 'painting' some valentines, and everything else they could find to 'paint'.

What is funny about our paint shopping experience, was that I really wanted to introduce them to finger paints. I thought that they would both really love them. Well, you will see that Genesis loved them, but Zech was not into finger painting at all. We had to buy him his own little paint set with a brush. I bought it thinking that once he saw how much fun finger painting was, he would convert. That was a month ago and he has yet to try finger painting.

It then dawned on me, how much their painting styles reflect their personalities. I have to laugh as to why I didn't see this earlier?? Zech HATES having dirty hands. He hates getting his hands or fingers dirty. He has been a super clean eater and there is no way that he would ever grab handfuls of cake or food and shove it into his mouth. So the thought of putting sticky, gooey paint on his fingers, probably revolted him. Duh mom!

Genesis on the other hand is completely the opposite. She is such a messy eater and loves to get her hands dirty and then rub it in her hair. She couldn't get enough paint on her little fingers. It then took a turn and finger painting became body painting. I took her shirt off because I couldn't find a clean bib and didn't have a smock to put on her. Well this is what happened.

Wonderful Wednesday

Another exciting giveaway, that has even more of a personal connection for me. This week I am giving away two Diva Wipes and two Crinkle Charms. So if any of you are or knows of someone having a baby, these are great gifts! You can also find "bellajane" on facebook to order and see the different styles, colours, etc. I have given a few Diva Wipes out as gifts and they are always a big hit!

When we moved to Airdrie just after Genesis was born, we were really seeking community. We had moved around a bit and were going through some pretty rough times and just needed to find and build some solid community. Thankfully we already had a few people in the area that we knew and then we got connected with a church quite quickly. We signed up for a Bible Study group, one that had children close in age to ours and we were so incredibly blessed by this amazing group. It was definitely challenging as there were 10 kids 8 years and under. We tried having the kids around, and found that we never got anything accomplished. We hired a babysitter for the night for all of the kids and still it was hard, some families got babysitters for their kids, but we never could because we didn't really have anyone. Nonetheless, we all understood and we were all in the same position. So we worked through and we had a wonderful time fellow-shipping. Not only that, we knew that we could always count on this group for prayer, support, understanding. God truly blessed us. We then had to make the move and it was so hard. We loved Airdire and the area. We loved our church, we loved our community, we loved our Bible Study group and all of our friends that we had in the area. We also loved that we were still relatively close to family too.

The wonderful thing about technology is that we are still a part of this group. We Skype in every second week and we participate with our Bible Study group. They have helped us so much this year, not only with prayer, but with some other support at times when we really needed a miracle and there they were. Incredible! The other thing that we have really, really appreciated about this group is the raw openness and honesty. Everyone is so open about everything and it is rare to see that and rare to have that trust with one another. We are truly blessed.

With that being said, one of the families from our group is the Buhler family! They have three boys (who Zech absolutely adores and loves to play with and a little princess only two months younger than Genesis). We have had a lot of wonderful times with them and they have had an amazing impact on us as a family. They are an inspiration and they have really helped us (whether they know it or not).

Christina started a company with her girlfriend called "bellajane" selling Diva Wipes and Crinkle Charms. I absolutely love their products and it was so hard to try and pick some for the giveaway! I also really wanted to support her. There are some big, exciting changes happening to their family and I know that they too could use the prayers and support.

Christina is a stay-at-home Mom to her 4 wonderful kids, she also has her Children's Ministry Degree. She is amazing with kids and my kids absolutely adore her. She is also from the States and made her way to the frozen north to be with her wonderful hubby Ben. I have always been inspired by them, as I wonder how they do it with 4 kids. We have had some great conversations with them and there was one in particular that had a huge impact on me and really helped me.

We were talking about worship and singing. You see I used to hate singing, I would mouth the words or at one point I was told to mouth 'watermelon' because it would actually seen like I was pronouncing the words to the song. So a lot of times I sat in church mouthing 'watermelon'. When I gave my heart to the Lord, something changed. I now belt it out (even though I am so out-of-tune) and I am moved by songs (plus I actually listen to the words of the songs--something my hubby taught me). Then I had kids, and I had to sing. Zech will ask me to sing and then tells me how nice I 'sound'--he really is too nice and generous with his words, but I don't want my kids to be embarrassed, so I have to suck it up and sing as silly and loud as I can so that I show them confidence. Now if any of you know the musical talent that runs deep in my family, you will see that this 'gene', this talent seriously went missing when it came my turn.

Anyways, we attend church and some people get really into the music and lift their hands to the Lord, some have tears streaming down their face, and some even clap. This is so foreign to me and it kind of makes me uncomfortable. We were talking about worship this one evening and the Buhler's were sharing a favourite artist (Kari Jobe--she sings my absolute favaourite song and I didn't know it---the Revelation Song) who they were going to the States to see LIVE. So Awesome! I then shared my fear of singing and really worshiping to the Lord with them. Christina shared what she told the kids when she was in the Children Ministry and it really had a profound effect on me (I will clap now and not feel so embarrassed and inhibited when I feel moved to raise my hands--not at the dancing part yet--I think my husband would check me into a mental hospital if I started that-lol). Christina said that when she worships and sings, she thinks of God as her Father (which of course He is), but when she raises her hands it is like a child raising their hands to us, their parents because they need us, want us, desire to be close to us, love us. So every time I have this urge to raise my hands, I think of what she said. I need God, desire God, love God and really want to be close to God. He is my Father and I think about all of the times that my kids raise their hands to me, their Mom for love, comfort, support, and just plain silliness sometimes. I want to pass that onto my kids too. I have never, ever thought of it like that before, so thank you Christina!

So for this weeks giveaway, two lucky readers will win a Diva Wipe and a Crinkle Charm. The winner will be announced next Thursday. Check 'bellajane' out on facebook too, if you have a chance.

What I want to know is:

What is your favourite song and why?