I hate having c-sections. This time around I spent almost the first two weeks sleeping on the couch in a weird upright position as I couldn't get comfortable in our bed. It was horrible.
I wish I was Supermom(is there such an super heroine--there should be and she would certainly be my favourite). You can't lift for 6 weeks, drive for 4 weeks and you are supposed to rest and take it easy. That may work for your first child, but not so much for number 3.
Why doesn't our medical system provide new moms with nurses like they do in Holland (the nurses come to your home for like a week and help out with anything and everything), or in Korea all new mothers who had to have c-sections get a special hospital room where they have to stay for 2 weeks. Their families (spouses) can stay with them, and basically take care of them for 2 weeks while they are forced to rest and do nothing but take care of themselves and their new little one(s)?
I wish I had a maid right now! It drives me nuts that I have to 'let' things go a bit.
I am having one of those days, for no particular reason. I seem to have them a bit lately. The biggest thing is feeling so completely and utterly overwhelmed and like the worst mother in the whole entire world. Thankfully John has the month off and has been amazing, as usual. He has a lot of his plate though too. It seems everything is falling into place for him at lightning speed and I know he is feeling a bit overwhelmed. I like to let him sleep at night because he has to get up and take Zech to school, but he is up every time with me, changing diapers, getting bottles, you name it. I do have an amazing husband and have no idea how on earth I would do this without him!!
Jude is a pretty content baby. We are slowly getting his days and nights turned around. He sleeps a lot during the day and sleeps a lot period. I don't think I have ever had an infant sleep like he does--I just wish it were more during the night. He eats like you would not believe and after 11 days was up to 9 lbs. 5 oz. Pretty darn good!
Zech started school and has to be up by 6:30 am every morning. Right now he gets up with daddy and thinks that is the best thing. He asks every morning if daddy is going to wake him up. He is transitioning, but not to say it has been smooth, as we have had our issues.
Genesis has been sick and up every single night three, to four times a night. Before she was really sick, she would get up every time she heard Jude get up and come into our room. She would want to help feed him or just lie beside me as I fed him. We finally had to put a gate up on her door as we never knew when she would come in, but now we have to get up and go to her as she screams out. Erghh! I know that she is dealing with the new transition too. We are struggling with her naps, and did I mention she uses her cough when she wants attention as well. Not only that, she has become a hypochondriac. We have noticed that she has all sorts of owies every time she feels like she isn't getting the attention she wants. She is a great help though and truly is like a little mother. I know it will take time.
So this is our life in a nut shell right now. I am super exhausted, overwhelmed, dealing with the hormones and the constant tears that seem to come upon me at ridiculous times (especially since I am not a public crier). None the less I am blessed beyond as I get to be the Mom of these three incredible kids. I take this job seriously, humbly and graciously! God is good and I have such an amazing family.
(such a horrible family picture that we had to take for some family members surprise anniversary book---yes my eyes are puffy and I converted it to black and white so you couldn't see how blotchy my face looks (it was one of those days), but it is imperfect us)
Love this picture of my three angels!
4 comments:
Oh, as hard as it seems, it's all normal! It's a big change for all of you. Thankfully God is walking it right beside you. Lean on Him! Praying for you in these busy days - and nights, V!
You have made it to the three-week mark, Vanessa. I always considered that to be the first major hurdle. I'm sure that the second three-week stretch will be that much easier. At six weeks you will have your first major check up, and around that time you will have lots of response from Jude. Smiles and gurgles are so motivating!!
I was thinking about differences in birthing practises. You probably knew that your Great-Great Grandma (Grandma Irene's Grandma) was a midwife. The practice of the day was for midwives to stay a few weeks with the family after delivery. Grandma Hanson (Irene's Mom) therefore played a major role in looking after her younger siblings ( as her Mom was playing her midwife role.)
As you probably know, all four of my births were C-sections. Jarl's delivery was the most difficult as the section was done after a labour that was going nowhere. I was flat on my back the first two days or so. I could not roll over. I wasn't allowed to. Neither was I allowed to eat until I passed wind. I ended up getting an infection, and being moved from a shared room to a private room. A shower meant no water on my incision, so the nurse taped a plastic apron on my tummy. Jarl, Kai , and Aina were all born in Australia. The practise at that time was ten days in hospital after delivery. Sonja was delivered by C-section in Red Deer, and I remained in hospital for 7 days. I was shown how to do exercises that would help me heal. Mom stayed with the family. What a treat! The three planned ceasareans were so much easier than the first. I was rolling over and eating from day 1. I did not have any pain, and hence no medication. (When I am very tired my incision is sore, so that is my body saying "time for a rest." )
Personally I never followed the six-week rule - I am a bit of a rebel!! I was committed to cloth diapers for my first three children, so that meant daily diaper washing and hanging out. As we had no electricity, I used a copper boiler to wash the diapers, and hung them in the tropical sun. I'm just recalling the wonderful smell of diapers boiling in water with pure soap flakes, and the freshness of diapers that had dried outdoors. I had never heard of the no-driving for 4 weeks until now.
When you are such a perfectionist, it must be difficult to turn a blind eye to what you think needs to be done. Even I, who is somewhat of a slob, has difficulty accepting that I do not have the energy to carry out many tasks that I would like to. (It's a good thing I live in the bush!!) I can't imagine what energy it must have taken to create such a special Cookie Monster party for Genesis. You can't change your personality, but perhaps you could be easier on yourself by modifying your expectations for yourself. Enjoy this special time with your baby and young family. Many chores will wait!
All the best to you and John and family as you continue to make transitions.
Love,
Auntie Elaine
Meant to tell you how much I enjoyed the photos you posted. I especially enjoyed your little Jude stretching and smiling.
Auntie Elaine
Aww, you guys look great. Jude is so cute, stretching and so alert. And those other two, wow, are they that big already. I can't believe how quickly it all happens. Samuel is growing like a weed.
When we lived in Nova Scotia we had a cleaning lady come to the house once a month and give it a good cleaning. Just all the stuff that I couldn't get to during the week, and if I didn't get to it I didn't feel bad or guilty. I knew it would get done and done well when she came. It was only $40/month and it made a world of difference. It's definitely something I'd do again especially if we have more kids or I go back to working. I think chores and cleaning are over-rated. ;)
Keeping you in our prayers, and hope the routine and sleep habits get back on track.
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