A new job

Recent changes in our lives......I just started a new job. I am a Planning Analyst for the RCMP. God does work in incredible ways and I actually got this job back in November, but had to go through an intense Security Clearance process. I was offered two jobs on the same day. It was kind of funny, as I had been praying pretty hard for a job and then I got two. At first I was really confused and didn't know what to do, but then clarity came. One of the jobs was an Assignment position for 4 months and the other job was an indeterminate position, but was conditional subject to my Security Clearance going through. So I accepted both. I took the Assignment while I waited for the permanent one to be finalized.

I was just on assignment with Service Canada College and it was an amazing experience. I was a learning consultant and had the opportunity to re-design modules of courses, design workshops, etc. LOVED IT! I loved the work, the people, my boss, the atmosphere, everything. I learned so much and accomplished a lot in that short period that I was there. It was really hard to leave, however i need to be somewhere permanently.

So now I am with the RCMP in my new, permanent position. It has been a hard couple of weeks. It is always a bit stressful, overwhelming, etc. when starting a new position, but this was even more so. I now understand why I had to go through the 'security clearance' that I did. The information that I use for my job and that passes through my office, my desk, is eye opening.

We don't have TV, I don't read the newspapers, except for when I really want to know something and search it out online (which hasn't happened a lot lately). Now I need to know this stuff and am surrounded by it. I went from Service Excellence to Crime in Saskatchewan. I can't even talk to my husband about some of this stuff. There have been a few times this past week, where I have just had to stop, take a break and go talk to God, or I probably would have had a break down in the office. Some of the things affect me hard, I don't know why, but I have really come to realize how dark and evil this world is and how much we need God, we need Jesus. If I ever hear anyone tell me that we humans are not sinful beings (oh yes I have heard that a lot), I would laugh in their face and tell them to open their eyes. I understand that we live in Canada and it is no where near as corrupt, dangerous, crime ridden, etc, as some other countries (believe me I know), but we still have so much work to do.

I can say that it is a very interesting job and that I know there will never be a dull moment. I also have great bosses, colleagues and they really promote an atmosphere that is light and full of fun. Plus there are perks like a couple of gyms (free), walking tracks, depot which has amazing cheap food (it is almost worth it for me to buy my lunch rather than bring one as it is so cheap) and it is 5 minutes down the road from our place. I can walk or ride my bike once the sidewalks clear.

Happy Friday and I am feeling pretty blessed to have a job, even though it has been a difficult transition.

Here is a picture I am sharing--totally un-related to this post, but it cracks me up! We took this when we were in Calgary in February. I love the expressions on all of their faces. These 4 little monkeys! :o)

And the Winners Are......

Thanks for the great comments again! I have a few new songs that I need to check out now. I apologize for being late with this (should have been posted yesterday). We are going through some big transitions (especially me) this week.

Crystal and Casey, I left your names in.....it's only fair! :o)

However the winners are:

1.) Faith
2.) Aunty Elaine

I will mail them out to you. Faith I do need your address though, so I will email you. Aunty Elaine I have your address and will mail it to you (perfect timing for your new grandson coming soon)!

Congrats ladies and thanks again for all of the comments!!

Just had to share

I haven't been great at posting lately. To be honest, it has been really hard to even want or desire to get onto the computer. I work all day long on the computer and when I get home, all I want to do is go through a technology cleanse. Does that make sense?

I also haven't been taking that many photos, but John has been taking a few, so that has helped. I did go out and get the kids some new art supplies a month ago (I know--a month ago) and we had a good time 'painting' some valentines, and everything else they could find to 'paint'.

What is funny about our paint shopping experience, was that I really wanted to introduce them to finger paints. I thought that they would both really love them. Well, you will see that Genesis loved them, but Zech was not into finger painting at all. We had to buy him his own little paint set with a brush. I bought it thinking that once he saw how much fun finger painting was, he would convert. That was a month ago and he has yet to try finger painting.

It then dawned on me, how much their painting styles reflect their personalities. I have to laugh as to why I didn't see this earlier?? Zech HATES having dirty hands. He hates getting his hands or fingers dirty. He has been a super clean eater and there is no way that he would ever grab handfuls of cake or food and shove it into his mouth. So the thought of putting sticky, gooey paint on his fingers, probably revolted him. Duh mom!

Genesis on the other hand is completely the opposite. She is such a messy eater and loves to get her hands dirty and then rub it in her hair. She couldn't get enough paint on her little fingers. It then took a turn and finger painting became body painting. I took her shirt off because I couldn't find a clean bib and didn't have a smock to put on her. Well this is what happened.

Wonderful Wednesday

Another exciting giveaway, that has even more of a personal connection for me. This week I am giving away two Diva Wipes and two Crinkle Charms. So if any of you are or knows of someone having a baby, these are great gifts! You can also find "bellajane" on facebook to order and see the different styles, colours, etc. I have given a few Diva Wipes out as gifts and they are always a big hit!

When we moved to Airdrie just after Genesis was born, we were really seeking community. We had moved around a bit and were going through some pretty rough times and just needed to find and build some solid community. Thankfully we already had a few people in the area that we knew and then we got connected with a church quite quickly. We signed up for a Bible Study group, one that had children close in age to ours and we were so incredibly blessed by this amazing group. It was definitely challenging as there were 10 kids 8 years and under. We tried having the kids around, and found that we never got anything accomplished. We hired a babysitter for the night for all of the kids and still it was hard, some families got babysitters for their kids, but we never could because we didn't really have anyone. Nonetheless, we all understood and we were all in the same position. So we worked through and we had a wonderful time fellow-shipping. Not only that, we knew that we could always count on this group for prayer, support, understanding. God truly blessed us. We then had to make the move and it was so hard. We loved Airdire and the area. We loved our church, we loved our community, we loved our Bible Study group and all of our friends that we had in the area. We also loved that we were still relatively close to family too.

The wonderful thing about technology is that we are still a part of this group. We Skype in every second week and we participate with our Bible Study group. They have helped us so much this year, not only with prayer, but with some other support at times when we really needed a miracle and there they were. Incredible! The other thing that we have really, really appreciated about this group is the raw openness and honesty. Everyone is so open about everything and it is rare to see that and rare to have that trust with one another. We are truly blessed.

With that being said, one of the families from our group is the Buhler family! They have three boys (who Zech absolutely adores and loves to play with and a little princess only two months younger than Genesis). We have had a lot of wonderful times with them and they have had an amazing impact on us as a family. They are an inspiration and they have really helped us (whether they know it or not).

Christina started a company with her girlfriend called "bellajane" selling Diva Wipes and Crinkle Charms. I absolutely love their products and it was so hard to try and pick some for the giveaway! I also really wanted to support her. There are some big, exciting changes happening to their family and I know that they too could use the prayers and support.

Christina is a stay-at-home Mom to her 4 wonderful kids, she also has her Children's Ministry Degree. She is amazing with kids and my kids absolutely adore her. She is also from the States and made her way to the frozen north to be with her wonderful hubby Ben. I have always been inspired by them, as I wonder how they do it with 4 kids. We have had some great conversations with them and there was one in particular that had a huge impact on me and really helped me.

We were talking about worship and singing. You see I used to hate singing, I would mouth the words or at one point I was told to mouth 'watermelon' because it would actually seen like I was pronouncing the words to the song. So a lot of times I sat in church mouthing 'watermelon'. When I gave my heart to the Lord, something changed. I now belt it out (even though I am so out-of-tune) and I am moved by songs (plus I actually listen to the words of the songs--something my hubby taught me). Then I had kids, and I had to sing. Zech will ask me to sing and then tells me how nice I 'sound'--he really is too nice and generous with his words, but I don't want my kids to be embarrassed, so I have to suck it up and sing as silly and loud as I can so that I show them confidence. Now if any of you know the musical talent that runs deep in my family, you will see that this 'gene', this talent seriously went missing when it came my turn.

Anyways, we attend church and some people get really into the music and lift their hands to the Lord, some have tears streaming down their face, and some even clap. This is so foreign to me and it kind of makes me uncomfortable. We were talking about worship this one evening and the Buhler's were sharing a favourite artist (Kari Jobe--she sings my absolute favaourite song and I didn't know it---the Revelation Song) who they were going to the States to see LIVE. So Awesome! I then shared my fear of singing and really worshiping to the Lord with them. Christina shared what she told the kids when she was in the Children Ministry and it really had a profound effect on me (I will clap now and not feel so embarrassed and inhibited when I feel moved to raise my hands--not at the dancing part yet--I think my husband would check me into a mental hospital if I started that-lol). Christina said that when she worships and sings, she thinks of God as her Father (which of course He is), but when she raises her hands it is like a child raising their hands to us, their parents because they need us, want us, desire to be close to us, love us. So every time I have this urge to raise my hands, I think of what she said. I need God, desire God, love God and really want to be close to God. He is my Father and I think about all of the times that my kids raise their hands to me, their Mom for love, comfort, support, and just plain silliness sometimes. I want to pass that onto my kids too. I have never, ever thought of it like that before, so thank you Christina!

So for this weeks giveaway, two lucky readers will win a Diva Wipe and a Crinkle Charm. The winner will be announced next Thursday. Check 'bellajane' out on facebook too, if you have a chance.

What I want to know is:

What is your favourite song and why?

Grateful for this man....

Today the love of my life turns the BIG 40!!!! While he is probably going to dislike the fact that I publicly announced this on my blog, as he keeps saying it is a birthday he wants to forget….I am going to celebrate it and celebrate him! I could write a list of 40 reasons why I love this incredible man, but I would make him blush, and I could write a list of 40 things you probably didn’t know about this special man, but honestly I could write a book and wouldn’t know what 40 things to pick. So instead I am going to write a list of why I am grateful to our Creator, the one that breathed life into us, for this incredible husband of mine.

So my grateful list will be dedicated to the one that the Lord choose for me to spend my life with. Happy Birthday my LOVE! I can’t wait for the next 40!! :o)

I am grateful for my wonderful, incredible, sexy, amazing husband (don’t worry I censored the rest of the things that I really wanted to say) because:

1. He loves the Lord with all of his heart and soul and seeks to live his life for HIM, even when it is so hard, so difficult and he has been put down for it.

2. The Bible is the most important book in his life. It is what sustains him, keeps him going, encourages him, challenges him, excites him and he shares that with me and his kids. It is the inherent Word of God that he respects, defends and adheres to.

3. He is willing to stand up and speak out for those that do not have a voice, for those that God has really put a burden on his heart for.

4. His heart breaks and aches for the down trodden of this world. He gets so upset for those that are suffering, less fortunate, hurting, and for those that have been wronged. He has the most amazing, sensitive heart. He does take it really personal which worries his wife at times.

5. He has taken the narrow road his entire life and has been falsely accused, wrongly accused, put down, tossed aside, rejected, maligned, yet he still keeps on going, keeps on sharing the gospel and acknowledges that Jesus is Lord of his life. His testimony amazes me, inspires me, even though I know it has been hard and there have been so many struggles and he doesn’t like to share the dark parts of his life openly, God really has been with him and has a plan for his life.

6. If it weren’t for him and for the amazing ways that God used him to work in my life, I really don’t know where I would be. My spiritual journey has been strengthened, encouraged, challenged so much by him and by his willingness to listen to God. So many amazing stories I could tell about how we met, the events, the dreams, the times that God really spoke to us and showed us that this union of ours was meant to be. God is great and so is my husband for being willing to listen to Him and not give up on me and put up with my many faults and crazy stubbornness at times! ;o)

7. He is an incredible Father to our kids. He plays with them, sings with them, dances with them, talks to them, listens to them, kisses and hugs them and tells them how much he loves them and most importantly how much Jesus loves them. He is so involved in their lives, he cares so deeply for them. He admits when he makes mistakes and asks for their forgiveness, he apologizes when he gets short with them and tells them that no matter what he always loves them. It really is incredible to watch this daddy with his little angels.

8. He is honest, open, and extremely forthright. He is not afraid to speak the truth. I have the utmost respect for him and see what an amazing man of integrity he is.

9. He loves to travel and explore as much as I do. He loves to experience new cultures, new foods, new lands and new languages. How will God use this I wonder? :o)

10. He has this whacky sense of humour. He makes me laugh and makes me smile as I think about all of his quirky sayings and actions. I do have to admit, that most people don't get his sense of humour (and it took me a bit too)! :o)

Happy 40th birthday John!!! I love you with all of my heart and feel honoured to celebrate your birthday with you.

Hard decisions, hard discussions

There are times in your life when you do have to make some pretty difficult decisions and have those hard discussions. As adults we are generally mature enough to handle them and discuss them, but sometimes not always humble enough to accept what is being said, but still there is supposed to be a maturity---right?! :o)



How do you deal with the difficult decisions and those hard discussions when having to explain them to your 4 year old and almost 2 year old? This was our week and it broke our hearts to have to have this discussion and make the decision we made.



We got the kids a puppy before Christmas. We knew we were moving and would have a yard (with a fence) and wanted a 'guard' dog. We looked at the SPCA, looked in Kijij and then we found him in the paper. Our beloved Samson. We got him from a farm and he was 9 weeks old. He is a Great Pyrenees, a breed that we really love. They are huge dogs, horses would better describe them once they are full grown. They are big, white, fluffy and gentle. They have this stoic, majestic look to them. Amazing with kids, but fierce protectors. Some pictures on the internet show this breed facing off with bears. Not to mention the stories you hear about these dogs protecting their property, killing wolves, coyotes, etc. They are working dogs and a lot of sheep and even cattle farms use these dogs with great success. You would never guess that these dogs have that aggressive, protective side because they are so docile, gentle and submissive around the family.



When Samson came, he was showered with affection and he was instantly a member of the family. There was no way that Zech wanted his Samson to be outside (he is not an inside dog and he is trained to stay in a designated area when he does come in). He was afraid that someone would take his dog, or that his dog would get lost. It took a bit of convincing him that Samson belonged outside.



The kids adore him and the first word out of Genesis' mouth every morning as soon as she woke up, was "PUPPY". Now she asks 'where my puppy'? every morning when she gets up. They give him hugs and kisses and Zech tells Samson all sorts of stories and talks to him like he is his best friend. When Samson whines for attention, Zech runs over and tells him "it's ok big guy, I am here". It really is amazing to watch. We thought that our kids could grow up with him and that he would be a permanent part of our family, until we came to a pretty startling realization.



We have been having all sorts of issues with Genesis and this exzema. The tests came back negative for Celiac (praise the Lord that we can rule that out). We have had her off eggs and are cutting back dairy (not that she has a lot). Nothing has seemed to work, however we will be doing some further testing (this coming week). We were at some friends place on Sunday and they have a dog in the house. At first he was gated in the kitchen, but once he calmed down he was allowed to mingle with everyone. Genesis was naturally obsessed and he was all over her too. He was licking her face and would follow her around. When we went to leave, we were putting on her coat and looked at her face. It had broken out in a bright red rash, swollen and puffy. Even her eye was all swollen, red and teary. Our friend and John knew instantly that this was where the dog had been licking her. We went home and bathed her and it took a bit for the swelling to come down and the redness to go away. We were shocked! Samson is not in the house much and we never really thought about her being allergic to dogs. The exzema started before we got Samson, but since we have had him it has not gotten any better. Plus, we are dog lovers, and there are no known dog allergies in our family's.



So we tested it out. The next day John brought Samson in the house for most of the morning, and sure enough her rash flared up. Wow, now the difficult decision and discussion had to be made.



You see we could keep him as he is primarily an outside dog, but how can I tell my almost 2 year old that she can't touch him, play with him, love him because he makes her itchy, makes her sick? It is not fair and we really want her to get better. I can't send her outside and tell her not to touch her best friend, while everyone else can. Maybe if she was older I could explain this to her and she would be able to understand. Plus we have always said that an animal (even our beloved Samson) will not come before our kids. So we had the hardest discussion with Zech on Wednesday.



John tried to tell him in the afternoon and the poor little guy teared up and was so upset. He didn't want to listen and got angry. When I came home, I sat him down and we talked about it. I told him that it makes his sister 'owie' and that Mommy and Daddy really do not want to give him away, but we love him and his sister so much that we have to do what is best for them. It was not going very well. He was upset and yelling at me "but mommy, Samson is our dog, he is my dog, this his home. I will not let anyone take him, I am so angry." It broke my heart, it is so hard to have these discussions with a four year old, who can not quite see the big picture, who only sees it as if we are trying to take his 'best friend' that he loves dearly away from him. Desperate, I also told him that we could not send Gigi away, so we had to send Samson away. He is fiercely protective and loves his sister so much, I knew that perhaps that would get through to him and it did. There was no way he was going to send Gigi away.



I finally told him that we need to pray that God will provide us with an acreage one day and then we can get lots of animals. Once Daddy finishes his schooling, we can get more settled and God willing get an acreage. So that really seemed to work, we then talked about all of the animals that we could get, a cow, goat, sheep, chickens, cats and then he said that we could get Samson back (eek, but I quickly explained that it wouldn't be the same Samson, but yes another Samson). That seemed to stop the tears and gave him something to pray about. The next morning I asked him if he remembered what we talked about and to my surprise and delight he said:



"Yes Mommy, we have to give Samson away to another family because he makes Gigi owie, but I am praying that God will give us an acreage so we can have cows, chickens, sheep, goats, cats and another Samson puppy. I can build a barn and I want a tractor! I will milk my cow and the chickens give us eggs."



That's my boy and you know I am really going to Praise the Lord for helping us with this and for helping my little boy with this. I then asked him what his sheep would eat and I stumped him. He looked up at me with his big, brown eyes and said "I just don't know mom". So then we had a discussion about what Sheep eat and that they will be used to 'mow' our lawn.



So our be-loved Samson has found a new home. It was amazing how fast we found him a home. John put an ad in Kijiji Thursday morning and by that evening we had 4 calls and then we gave him to a family that has a ranch, two female companions (they want to breed), plus he is a Vet. I still pray that He will give our little boy and little girl some sort of understanding, as much as they possibly can at this age. This was the beginning of those hard decisions, those hard discussions that have and will continue to present themselves as we seek to live life and grow together as a family. I hope that they will get easier ( I am sure they won't), but know that we always have the Lord to lean on and guide us and that gives me a strength and peace that is indescribable.

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

And the Winners Are.....

Thanks so much for all of the comments. I really love that everyone is so honest and open. It is really hard to be faced with difficult choices, difficult decisions. Some things I could totally relate too and others like Casey's story about hitting and killing a man who jumped in front of her car to commit suicide, was unbelievable, unfathomable. Wow!

Please keep the Chalmers in your prayers. They will need the prayers and support to get through the adjustment and transition that they are about to embark on, especially as a family.

So the Winners for this Month's giveaway are (which was easy and I didn't have to draw names for):

1. Christina (I will deliver yours next week)

2. Casey (I have your address and will pop them in the mail)

3. Melinda (please send me your address and I will send them to you)

Thanks for your comments! :o)