Hard decisions, hard discussions

There are times in your life when you do have to make some pretty difficult decisions and have those hard discussions. As adults we are generally mature enough to handle them and discuss them, but sometimes not always humble enough to accept what is being said, but still there is supposed to be a maturity---right?! :o)



How do you deal with the difficult decisions and those hard discussions when having to explain them to your 4 year old and almost 2 year old? This was our week and it broke our hearts to have to have this discussion and make the decision we made.



We got the kids a puppy before Christmas. We knew we were moving and would have a yard (with a fence) and wanted a 'guard' dog. We looked at the SPCA, looked in Kijij and then we found him in the paper. Our beloved Samson. We got him from a farm and he was 9 weeks old. He is a Great Pyrenees, a breed that we really love. They are huge dogs, horses would better describe them once they are full grown. They are big, white, fluffy and gentle. They have this stoic, majestic look to them. Amazing with kids, but fierce protectors. Some pictures on the internet show this breed facing off with bears. Not to mention the stories you hear about these dogs protecting their property, killing wolves, coyotes, etc. They are working dogs and a lot of sheep and even cattle farms use these dogs with great success. You would never guess that these dogs have that aggressive, protective side because they are so docile, gentle and submissive around the family.



When Samson came, he was showered with affection and he was instantly a member of the family. There was no way that Zech wanted his Samson to be outside (he is not an inside dog and he is trained to stay in a designated area when he does come in). He was afraid that someone would take his dog, or that his dog would get lost. It took a bit of convincing him that Samson belonged outside.



The kids adore him and the first word out of Genesis' mouth every morning as soon as she woke up, was "PUPPY". Now she asks 'where my puppy'? every morning when she gets up. They give him hugs and kisses and Zech tells Samson all sorts of stories and talks to him like he is his best friend. When Samson whines for attention, Zech runs over and tells him "it's ok big guy, I am here". It really is amazing to watch. We thought that our kids could grow up with him and that he would be a permanent part of our family, until we came to a pretty startling realization.



We have been having all sorts of issues with Genesis and this exzema. The tests came back negative for Celiac (praise the Lord that we can rule that out). We have had her off eggs and are cutting back dairy (not that she has a lot). Nothing has seemed to work, however we will be doing some further testing (this coming week). We were at some friends place on Sunday and they have a dog in the house. At first he was gated in the kitchen, but once he calmed down he was allowed to mingle with everyone. Genesis was naturally obsessed and he was all over her too. He was licking her face and would follow her around. When we went to leave, we were putting on her coat and looked at her face. It had broken out in a bright red rash, swollen and puffy. Even her eye was all swollen, red and teary. Our friend and John knew instantly that this was where the dog had been licking her. We went home and bathed her and it took a bit for the swelling to come down and the redness to go away. We were shocked! Samson is not in the house much and we never really thought about her being allergic to dogs. The exzema started before we got Samson, but since we have had him it has not gotten any better. Plus, we are dog lovers, and there are no known dog allergies in our family's.



So we tested it out. The next day John brought Samson in the house for most of the morning, and sure enough her rash flared up. Wow, now the difficult decision and discussion had to be made.



You see we could keep him as he is primarily an outside dog, but how can I tell my almost 2 year old that she can't touch him, play with him, love him because he makes her itchy, makes her sick? It is not fair and we really want her to get better. I can't send her outside and tell her not to touch her best friend, while everyone else can. Maybe if she was older I could explain this to her and she would be able to understand. Plus we have always said that an animal (even our beloved Samson) will not come before our kids. So we had the hardest discussion with Zech on Wednesday.



John tried to tell him in the afternoon and the poor little guy teared up and was so upset. He didn't want to listen and got angry. When I came home, I sat him down and we talked about it. I told him that it makes his sister 'owie' and that Mommy and Daddy really do not want to give him away, but we love him and his sister so much that we have to do what is best for them. It was not going very well. He was upset and yelling at me "but mommy, Samson is our dog, he is my dog, this his home. I will not let anyone take him, I am so angry." It broke my heart, it is so hard to have these discussions with a four year old, who can not quite see the big picture, who only sees it as if we are trying to take his 'best friend' that he loves dearly away from him. Desperate, I also told him that we could not send Gigi away, so we had to send Samson away. He is fiercely protective and loves his sister so much, I knew that perhaps that would get through to him and it did. There was no way he was going to send Gigi away.



I finally told him that we need to pray that God will provide us with an acreage one day and then we can get lots of animals. Once Daddy finishes his schooling, we can get more settled and God willing get an acreage. So that really seemed to work, we then talked about all of the animals that we could get, a cow, goat, sheep, chickens, cats and then he said that we could get Samson back (eek, but I quickly explained that it wouldn't be the same Samson, but yes another Samson). That seemed to stop the tears and gave him something to pray about. The next morning I asked him if he remembered what we talked about and to my surprise and delight he said:



"Yes Mommy, we have to give Samson away to another family because he makes Gigi owie, but I am praying that God will give us an acreage so we can have cows, chickens, sheep, goats, cats and another Samson puppy. I can build a barn and I want a tractor! I will milk my cow and the chickens give us eggs."



That's my boy and you know I am really going to Praise the Lord for helping us with this and for helping my little boy with this. I then asked him what his sheep would eat and I stumped him. He looked up at me with his big, brown eyes and said "I just don't know mom". So then we had a discussion about what Sheep eat and that they will be used to 'mow' our lawn.



So our be-loved Samson has found a new home. It was amazing how fast we found him a home. John put an ad in Kijiji Thursday morning and by that evening we had 4 calls and then we gave him to a family that has a ranch, two female companions (they want to breed), plus he is a Vet. I still pray that He will give our little boy and little girl some sort of understanding, as much as they possibly can at this age. This was the beginning of those hard decisions, those hard discussions that have and will continue to present themselves as we seek to live life and grow together as a family. I hope that they will get easier ( I am sure they won't), but know that we always have the Lord to lean on and guide us and that gives me a strength and peace that is indescribable.

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.