Missing my Dad...

It has been 7 years since my Dad passed away.  The day came and went and I kind of forgot! I don't usually forget the date (it was my original due date for Genesis too).  It has been a busy week and busy time...maybe that's why I forgot.  I felt really sad and almost grieved today as I was backing up some photos and looking back.  John asked me if I felt that I had properly grieved the loss of my Dad, but how do you properly grieve.  I mean looking back I guess I felt I had to be strong and I was also fighting to keep my baby alive, so it was a weird roller coaster of emotions. Maybe I didn't grieve properly? Maybe it is ok to look back, reminisce and grieve a little, even 7 years later?

I know that my final moments with him were a gift from God.  Something that I will forever cherish.  He said goodbye to me, clear as day, when he never should have (he was basically unresponsive).  I will never forget John and I praying for him, praying over him and as we finished I walked up to him kissed him and said goodbye.  To our astonishment he said goodbye back.  That was such a God moment!

I felt particularly grieved today though, because I have three beautiful kids that will never get to meet him (we talked a bit about him today too---they ask all sorts of questions).  He loved kids and he was amazing with them.  I know that he would have been an amazing Grandpa and that they would have adored him.  I also know that they have some of his genes.  :o)

I really do Miss You Dad!