What would your sign(s) say?

My wonderful friend Heather had this amazing post on her blog. One thing that really draws me to Heather is that she is so open, honest and real. She does not pretend, she is not fake, she does not try and put on a 'show', make herself look good by putting others down. She has a wonderful heart, she is loving, she is humble, she is not perfect and she is not afraid to admit it. She is REAL. I like REAL people, I am drawn to REAL people (that is one of the reasons I also fell in love with my wonderful Hubby, because he is real, truthful, honest and vulnerable).

You have to check out this post that Heather linked to. I couldn't stop crying and it has really bothered me, affected me for a few days now. I couldn't even post a comment on Heather's blog for a few days after reading it, as it really choked me up. I guess it is something that the Lord has been kind of talking to me about lately and I have been struggling with listening and really hearing the message. Too many hurts, too many pains, too many people that I can't trust, that don't want to know who we really are, that can't see my signs, and when I do try and share those signs, they either look past them, or blame me for them, or don't even care about them.

You see I am not perfect, I am sinful, I have so many faults that need to be 'tweaked'. I am human though and I am loved by Jesus who made the ultimate sacrifice for all of my sins, my faults and my brokenness. I need JESUS because I can not live my life pretending to be someone I am not, pretending to be perfect, to have it all under control. Pretending that I have not been hurt by false accusations, assumptions and lies about myself and my family. Pretending and just sweeping these things away like it is no big deal. I am human, I have emotions and I have struggles.

I wear many signs lately, but I wear them on my heart. I can not wear them openly because I can not trust those that I should be able to trust and confide in and am blamed for the signs that I do try and 'wear'. Sometimes we go through struggles, pain, hardship and it is not because of anything we have done. However, having people tell you that 'you have had too much bad luck' (which translates into we want nothing to do with you, you're an embarrassment and we therefore we will never help you out), 'you blame everyone else for your problems' (thanks for listening and really taking the time to HEAR me), 'it's your fault you are in the position that you are in' (now that is compassion and understanding), well that makes me want to hide my signs forever and lock them away so that no body can hurt me or truly understand me and know me (signs and all).

A few weeks ago we heard a sermon at church about the importance of community, fellowship, of being vulnerable and real with one another. That sometimes we go through struggles so that we can help others that are going through something similar, or so we can have that compassion and understanding towards those that are enduring hardships. There is this 'trust' issue that I truly struggle with. I don't trust people enough to be open and vulnerable with them, and in part it affects my relationship with the Lord. I know that I can trust the Lord to help me, encourage me, and to just take the pain, hardship and struggles from me, but I struggle even doing that. I struggle believing that I am worth that (even though I know that I am). I struggle with allowing the Lord to take my burdens and to just hand them all over to Him and trust (there is that word again) Him to take care of me. I believe those lies, those false assumptions, those wrong accusations when I know that I shouldn't and don't have too.

I Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

Matthew 11:29

I read His words, yet I still struggle. I will continue to wear my signs on my heart and will try to hand them over to Him. Perhaps one day I may even be able to wear my signs openly, however until that time, I desire to be more open, understanding, compassionate and discerning so that I don't miss others' signs.

So what would your sign(s) say and would you wear it/them openly?