I have started running again, very sporadically due to the delicate balance of being a wife, mother and woman of God. I don't want to put tonnes of pressure on myself, but just really enjoy it and enjoy the times that I do get a chance to get out. As I have mentioned before it has always been a release for me and now as a Christian it is a spiritual release, awakening, oh so much more than it has ever been before. I LOVE IT! It is during these runs lately where I have really heard from the Lord, that I have surrendered everything to the Lord, that I have just left it all up to Him. Why, because I wouldn't make it home unless I did. I am pretty out of shape! :o)
I was out tonight running, after a difficult day. A difficult day in the fact that I was feeling really down and pessimistic about everything. I did what I normally do, read the Bible, laced up and headed out. Normally I am a babbling fool, talking, or should I say pouring my heart and soul out to the Lord. I am usually tear ridden, but one would never know because I sweat a lot! It is quite the scene.
Tonight I was silent, and just wanted to push through. However, I was getting down to the last 10 minutes and I wanted desperately to stop. Everything was burning, I was sore, tired and so out of breath. I wanted to just give up, walk home, pack it in and say well at least I got out and tried. I didn't though, instead I called out to the Lord and asked Him to help me, I surrendered it all up to Him, I let Him carry me home. It is usually during these last 10 minutes that I have those 'aha' moments, that I hear and feel the Lord working in me. Tonight I didn't want to, I was upset and angry, but I desperately needed Him.
You see I am not a quitter! I am stubborn, competitive and I do not give up easily. However I am not always like this with my walk with the Lord. Tonight, I felt the Lord telling me that I need to surrender, to hand it all over to Him, to trust Him and have Faith in Him that He will get me through every part of my life, every part of this journey I am on with Him and not JUST WHEN I AM RUNNING. I felt the Lord asking me 'why is it that you can surrender everything to me while you are out of breath, physically stretched and ready to die on the trail, but not in your life, not in the most important battles, those battles that leave you bruised, battered, torn and worn out. That's a tough question, it hit me hard and it is something that I need to really work on.
I know these moments that I have running will shape me, are shaping me and will hopefully help me be more obedient and willing to just 'roll my burdens' over to HIM.
How about you, is it easy for you to surrender, roll your burdens over to HIM?
"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your justice as the noonday." Psalm 37:5-6
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