It is amazing how quickly your plans, dreams and hopes can change. This week I felt hopeful, felt like maybe we would finally get a little more settled and start moving towards our goals, our dreams, but God has something different in mind--maybe, perhaps, not quite sure yet!!??
Australia was a disaster (well it was beautiful and we did meet some great friends) and we were so sure about it. We did so much homework, studying, calling, emailing and most importantly praying, but just like that everything completely changed. Our decision to return to Canada was not a light decision either, we started researching John's education alternatives in December and finally made a decision in January.
Once again lots of research, emails, calling the Universities here and of course praying and we both felt that God intended for us to go to Australia, but now it was time to leave. We felt at peace with our decision to return(except for the fact that there are always going to be people that will NEVER understand) and felt it was important to be closer to family.
Now after months of waiting, John just found out that they have not accepted him into University. We were told that he would have no problems getting in, that basically he was assured to get in and that all of his courses would transfer. Well due to a rather small (BUT HUGE TO US) technicality that the academic advisor FAILED to tell us about, he was denied. Of course the appeal process will not work because although we have a few emails, we did not record our phone conversations, nor the numerous times that John actually went to her office and spoke with her. Who do we trust, we have been deceived so many times this past year and deceived by people that we even knew and thought we could trust! I guess it has come to a point where we have to record and document absolutely EVERYTHING!
Of course, things tend to happen not only in three's but in massive multiples with us. Between owing the government and cell phone billing problems, it was a day that never seemed to end. And to end the day with a bang, I found out that I did not get the job! The interview was horrible, but I didn't think it was that disasterous. Based on the reasons they gave me, I feel about as dumb as anyone could possibly feel! So far I have been "overqualified", "underqualified", "not a right fit". I won't put what they said about the last position, as I am still a little perplexed. My confidence is pretty much shot, and I am really not sure who to believe. Of course I value constructive critism, as it is a learning tool (you learn from your mistakes right), but I also value honesty (a lot of times they already have someone in mind for the position, but have to go through this whole process--just tell me and don't waste my time!). I was also told that unless I "knew" someone in the government, I will never have a chance of getting in. Boy that was exactly what I needed to hear!
So back to square one! Where to next? What do we do next? Oh the joys of the journey of life! It has been an extremely emotional last couple of days. I feel angry, hurt, Stupid, frustrated, confused, sick, and did I mention stupid and John's emotions have been running high too! He just wants to finish his degree, who would have thought it would be so difficult!
To end, please keep us in your prayers. We can use every little bit of prayer we can possibly get right now and pray that God will give us provision and answers as to how to accomplish this journey we are on HIS way! It has never been about our way, and I think that is pretty clear, but somehow, somewhere we are missing the boat!
2 comments:
Oh V! Sometimes it is so hard to understand why things turn out the way they do and what God is trying to direct us towards and it's so easy to feel guilty or uncertain about decisions we've made but God is still holding you in the palm of His hand. He is still loving you and directing you, especially as you seek His will. Hang in there!
V - I feel every ounce of your frustration, hurt and uncertainty. I have been there. Maybe not in all those specific circumstances, but I know the frustration of misinformation, lack of communication, unexpected directions and lack of trust in people. It is not an easy road. Still, what I did learn from the last two difficult and trying years (I know there will be many more to come) is this..the winter time, the dead, hard, painful, dry, weary time comes to an end. And when it ends spring comes, new life, new times, new growth, new experiences. One of the scriptures that saved me in Poland was Song of Solomon 2: 11-13. "See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossomoing vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me." I could hear God calling out to me as I read these verses. The winter will end. Flowers and life will come. New mercies arrive every morning. Come and be with our Saviour, rest in Him, take comfort in Him and go with Him. I really want to encourage you through this. Send us an email with more questions or whatever you need. Big hugs!
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